You’re tired. You arrive at the hotel. You stand in the “members only” line to check in. It’s moving more slowly than the regular line. Only two more people to go. You feel vaguely stupid because the regular line is now empty. And there you are waiting. You get to the front desk. The clerk’s pin says she is from Belarus. “Belarus?” you start thinking, “Is that even a country?” With horror, you realize that you sound like your father. You give your name. She asks for your membership number. You feel the anger rising in you. Then you remember: can’t get angry, breathe deeply. Then you ask if there are upgrades available. She says she will check with her manager. You tell her to forget it.
You open the door to your room. You breathe a sigh of relief. The view is fine. The room is clean. A real bathtub and a separate shower. A large flat screen TV.
Ughh…you see the remote…you flip through the channels, look at movie selection…boring and expensive. You wonder, ”Can I plug in my laptop?”…No…”iPhone”?…yeah, right there into the cheap bedside alarm radio. You’re hungry. You look for the room service menu. You’re getting frustrated. You finally find it. You pick up the phone and call. Hotel front desk greets you and asks you how they can help. You wonder, “How does pressing the room service button on this cheap plastic phone get you to the front desk.” You say, “Room Service.” Phone rings three times. Front desk picks up again. You give up.
It’s 10:30 Central. It’s late, but maybe your wife is still up. You try to call from your cell phone. No signal. You look at the ugly, faintly dirty-looking phone on the side table. Just the thought of calling tethered to that phone annoys you. You spend a couple of minutes trying to figure out how much a five-minute call home will cost. “2.95 for the first minute…..” You give up.
How did it come to this? You’ve been around the block a few times (in fact a few too many times). You remember when the technology in the hotel room was a perk. Now here you are, sitting in bed, lonely, hungry, your reading glasses on, streaming video to your three-year-old laptop.
You grab your iPhone and set your wake up alarm. You’re just about to fall asleep and you think, “Damn, I forgot to put the room service menu on the door.”
